A Man That I Can Call My Own

It’s not easy watching others who are so in love and seeing women spending time with their man, and it’s not easy being at the movie sitting all by myself and seeing others sitting holding hands. It’s not easy dressing up and I’m shopping alone when they’re others who are making some plans, and it’s not easy cooking dinners when it’s only just me, and something that I just can’t understand. It’s not easy having a calling from the Lord on my life because everyday I am paying the price, by dying to my flesh which is so very painful but I had to make that sacrifice. It’s not easy knowing that someday that my time will be up and then eventually God will call me home, but before that day will come I just want to be happy and have a man that I can call my own.

image

Advertisements

Traded Places

We use to ride our bikes and we played together but growing up you was my childhood friend, and you had everything that a girl could’ve wanted and I tried everything to fit in. I tried to be like you in so many ways and you was the Apple of everyone’s eyes, because you dressed very well and had many friends, but for me everybody despised. You always kept your hair very neat and pretty and people followed you around each day, but for me I was tall and I was very skinny and people treated me like a castaway. I didn’t have any friends to hang out with me nor was i popular in school at all, and I didn’t have stylish clothes that would please the crowd but you were always at the mall. We’re all grown up and we’re living our lives and haven’t heard from each other in years, but when I finally saw a photo and i knew it was you, it nearly brought me right down to tears. You’re no longer the popular girl that you use to be nor do you dress anymore to impress, and you have lost so much weight and you’re looking distress, and your hair is not looking its best. You once had many people that were praising you but now your life is gone down to waste, but now everybody seems to be loving me and it seems that we have traded places.

image

Do You Ever Really Think About Us?

Do you remember the times when we were sipping on wine and when our life together seemed to be fine? and do you remember the days when you would sit down and gaze into my eyes that had you so amazed? Do you remember the months when we would go out for lunch and go to parties where they spiked up the punch? Do you remember the years when we had fun and no fears and when you whispered sweet words in my ears? Do you remember that dress, on the night we had sex, and how your sweat was running down on my chest? Do you remember the parks, where we would go after dark, when there was nothing that could keep us apart? Do you remember the fights and the way we would fuss though we loved each other so very much? Do you remember those things or meditate on these things or do you ever really think about us?

image

Vicky Pittard

A Sweet Memorial

So many people on this earth cannot handle depression and they sit to write a full page letter, and they’re expressing their feelings and saying there final goodbyes because they feel that only death is better. Many families are torn and even brokenhearted because they wish they could’ve changed their minds, but you are not to be blamed nor should you blame yourself when they had never really showed any signs. Although they walk around filled with laughter, and their life may appear to be brighter, but deep inside they could harbor a secret, not knowing their thoughts are very suicidal. We should be still and pay attention to others, and give everyone a listening ear, because one word can change a life forever, and one word just may keep them here. But to the one who’s thinking death is better, please live your life and try to think things over, and to the one who have ended their own lives, I offer this as a sweet memorial.

image

Vicky Pittard

Crying Myself To Sleep

Every car that passes by I am watching and peeping and I have my blinds opened up wide, and late at night I am tossing and I’m turning and weeping and I’m moving from side to side. I’m overtaken and I’m weak because I’m blinded by love and my friends they sit and watch in horror, because I’m acting like someone who has ceased from drugs and now I’m shaking like I’m having withdrawals. Whenever my phone starts to ring I am thinking it’s you but when it’s not I start feeling despair, because I’m walking around town talking to myself, hallucinating when you’re not even there. Every person that I meet I am thinking it’s you but it’s someone else who I’m seeing instead, and there are strangers who are passing and they’re offering me money because they think I’m standing begging for bread. Love doesn’t last forever but these feelings that I’m having for you is so deep, because I can’t seem to shut or to close my eyes without crying myself to sleep.

image

Vicky Pittard

A Great Reward

I have asked many questions and received no answer and it often left me blank and puzzled, and many people highly praise me and they think it is well when they cannot even count my struggles. There is a war going on deep inside of me and temptations come from every side, and the battle is intense though I want to do right but the battlefield is in my mind. Oftentimes I have prayed and I’ve pleaded with God to let me marry and become a wife, but I do not want to wait until I’m old and gray but I want this at the prime of my life. There are days when I’m lonely and I cry to myself but I know that it will be alright, and there are days when I want a man to lay beside me and to wake me up throughout the night. I’m being truthful with myself so that I can be strengthen and delivered from being perplexed, but I want to encourage women who are living this life of being pure and abstaining from sex. I’m holding on to his hand because my change will come on that day when I am looking forward, to receiving all the blessings that he has for me and to receive from him a great reward.

image

Vicky Pittard

What A Storm Could Bring

I am riding on the clouds while my mind is at ease with a feeling I never felt before, because my burdens have been lifted and I’m no longer bound but through the clouds I can see a rainbow. It’s amazing how I’ve grown and i didn’t go back to what I’ve experienced one year ago, but you’re desperate and you see that I am living so high because you want to bring me back down low. I cannot say that it was easy being away from you because if I did then it would be a lie, but I vowed to serve the Lord everyday of my life until the day that I finally die. I have a peace which surpasses all understanding because I’m resting in my father’s wings, but if I had not been removed away from you I wouldn’t have known what a storm could bring.

image

Vicky Pittard