I have asked many questions and received no answer and it often left me blank and puzzled, and many people highly praise me and they think it is well when they cannot even count my struggles. There is a war going on deep inside of me and temptations come from every side, and the battle is intense though I want to do right but the battlefield is in my mind. Oftentimes I have prayed and I’ve pleaded with God to let me marry and become a wife, but I do not want to wait until I’m old and gray but I want this at the prime of my life. There are days when I’m lonely and I cry to myself but I know that it will be alright, and there are days when I want a man to lay beside me and to wake me up throughout the night. I’m being truthful with myself so that I can be strengthen and delivered from being perplexed, but I want to encourage women who are living this life of being pure and abstaining from sex. I’m holding on to his hand because my change will come on that day when I am looking forward, to receiving all the blessings that he has for me and to receive from him a great reward.