I am always complimented for the way that I look and for the photos everybody would paste, but I’m becoming very tired when I’m constantly hearing about my body and my pretty face. I want to be noticed for my God given talent, and how I never let it go down to waste, and I want to be noticed for the life that I’m living, and the dreams that I am trying to chase. Would you think that I am pretty if I’m sitting at home without my makeup and not looking my best? Would you think that I am pretty in the early mornings with my pajamas and my hair in a mess? Looks can be deceiving because not only that, but it’s my heart that you are trying to win, and stop looking at the beauty on the outer appearance and search the beauty that is deep within.
I shouldn’t have to teach what you already know or to correct every word that you say, and I shouldn’t have to tell you how to keep yourself up, knowing that it would only push me away. I shouldn’t have to show you how to spend your money nor should i tell you how you should invest, and I shouldn’t have to tell you that you need to prepare for every moment when you’re feeling distressed. I shouldn’t have to show you how to wine and dine me or to pick the perfect place to eat, and I shouldn’t have to show you how to keep me happy or to show you how to rub my feet. It’s just a matter of time when i will throw up my hands after doing everything that i can, because there’s only so much that I am willing to do, except to teach you how to be a man.
I wish I knew the feeling being on top of the world and when you have a lot of money to spend, and I’m sure that it is nice being treated so well and also having many millions of friends. When you walk out on the stage when you’re touring the world and your fans begin to call your name, they’re screaming and they’re shouting and would even pass out, because your presence got them going insane. But on the day my Lord appear I’m going to scream and shout, and will rejoice on that glorious day, and I will kick off my shoes and i will give Him some praise without a bodyguard to keep me away. Your riches are in heaven that can never be counted with all power that are in Your hands, but You’re the only Superstar that I am dying to meet so dear Lord I’m Your number one fan.
I am moved in my spirit to release some words and there is so much that I have to say, because the tree that’s suppose to give me shade and comfort, is drying up and is withering away. There is nothing it can offer being on life support and now it’s time for me to pull the plug, because they say that the blood is more thicker than water, but to me the waters thicker than blood. On the outside it is healthy and the branches are strong though the tree seem to sparkle a little, but there is venom that has reached every fruit of the tree because the root of the tree is bitter. There is fussing and there’s fighting, hurtful words and back biting, and there is no one who can work things out, and everybody’s divided and against one another that the sword will never leave the house. It’s like a thorn in my flesh that is piercing my soul and fiery darts that are coming for me, but God is plucking and He’s trimming that my branch would stand out, to make it strong in the family tree.
For the vision is set for an appointed time no matter how very long it takes, because I know that the Lord watch over His word, and He promise that He won’t be late. The dreams that the Lord has revealed to me is fulfilled right before my eyes, but there is someone that I know that’s still apart of me, and the thought of him just will not die. You’re like a magnet that is pulling and I’m constantly fighting, because I want to leave it all behind, and you really didn’t love me which is alright with me, because without you I am doing just fine. Timing is the key that will bring some relief, but it’s taking such a very long time, and patience is the key that will bring me some peace, and hopefully then it would keep me in line. But i plan to stay away though you taught me a lesson of the things that I should not do, to be so quick to fall in love and I’m always reminded, everyday when I am thinking of you.
Lord I thank you for waking me up this morning and to cherish another day, because this day really mean so much to me and you have carried me all the way. May your grace continue to abound on me with the blessings that you have given, because I’m thankful to see another birthday, along with 41 years of living…Happy Birthday Vicky Robinson 3/8/16
The Lord told Abraham to leave his land, and there will never be another like him, and Samson was known as the strongest man, and there will never be another like him. Jesus cured the sick and the blind was healed and there will never be another like Him, and Joshua prayed to God and the sun stood still, and there will never be another like him. Solomon was the wisest man who ever lived, and there will never be another like him, and Peter denied Jesus on the night he was killed, and there will never be another like him. During my time and generation I have seen many women with sandy hair and some hazel brown eyes, and I have also seen women who was tall like me, with light skin and was also my size. But I’ll always love the fact that no matter how many of the people in this world I’ll see, that there will never once again be someone who’s identical, and there will never be another like me.
It’s not easy watching others who are so in love and seeing women spending time with their man, and it’s not easy watching movies being all by myself and seeing others who are holding hands. It’s not easy dressing up and I’m shopping alone when there are others who are making some plans, it’s not easy cooking dinner when it’s only just me, and something that was not apart of the plan. It’s not easy having a calling from the Lord on my life, when everyday I have to take up my cross, by dying to myself which is not very simple, and was chosen to just pay the cost. It’s not easy for me to think that I’ll never get married, and that i’ll always have to be alone, and to wish I had a man laying right there beside me and a man that I could call my own.
Do you remember the times when we were sipping on wine and when our life together seemed to be fine? Do you remember the days when you would sit down and gaze into my eyes that had you so amazed? Do you remember the months when we would go out for lunch and go to parties where they spiked up the punch? Do you remember the years when we had fun and no fears and when you whispered sweet words in my ears? Do you remember that dress, on the night we had sex, and how your sweat was running down on my chest? Do you remember the parks, where we would go after dark, when there was nothing that could keep us apart? Do you remember the fights and the way we would fuss though we loved each other so very much? Do you remember those things or meditate on these things or do you ever really think about us?
Every car that passes by I am watching and peeping and I have my blinds opened up wide, and late at night I am tossing and I’m turning and weeping and I’m moving from side to side. I’m overtaken and I’m weak because I’m blinded by love and my friends they sit and watch in horror, because I’m acting like someone who has ceased from drugs and now I’m shaking like I’m having withdrawals. Whenever my phone starts to ring I am thinking it’s you but when it’s not I start feeling despair, because I’m walking around town talking to myself, hallucinating when you’re not even there. Every person that I meet I am thinking it’s you but it’s someone else who I’m seeing instead, and there are strangers who are passing and they’re offering me money because they think I’m standing begging for bread. Love doesn’t last forever but these feelings that I’m having for you is so deep, because I can’t seem to shut or to close my eyes without crying myself to sleep.