I am always complimented for the way that I look and for the photos everybody embrace, but I’m becoming very tired when I’m constantly hearing about my body and my pretty face. I want to be noticed for my God given talent, and how I never let it go down to waste, and I want to be noticed for the life that I’m living and for the dreams that I am trying to chase. Would you think that I am pretty if I was sitting at home without my makeup and not looking my best? And would you think that I am pretty in the early mornings with my pajamas and my hair in a mess? Looks can be deceiving and not only that, but it’s my heart that you are trying to win, and stop looking at the beauty on the outer appearance and search the beauty that is deep within.
Vicky E. Pittard
I shouldn’t have to tell you how to behave in public or to correct every word that you speak, and I shouldn’t have to tell you how to keep yourself shaved, or to whiten and to brush your teeth. I shouldn’t have to teach you how to spend your money or either teach you how you should invest, and I shouldn’t have to tell you when you need a haircut, or the way that you’re suppose to dress. I shouldn’t have to show you how to be romantic and to pick the perfect place to eat, and I shouldn’t have to tell you how to make me happy or to show you how to rub my feet. A woman shouldn’t have to break it down to you or either try to make you understand, and a woman shouldn’t have to make you find a job, or to teach you how to be a man.
It must feel good to be a super star on top of the world because you have a lot of money to spend, and I’m sure that it’s nice to be treated so well and having so many millions of friends. When you walk out on the stage when you’re touring the world and your fans begin to call your name, that they’ll scream and they’ll cry and some would even pass out because your presence have them going insane. But on that day my Lord appear I’m going to scream and shout and pass out on that glorious day, and I will kick off my shoes and i will give him some praise without a bodyguard to keep me away. Your riches are in heaven that can never be counted with all power that are in your hands, but you’re the only superstar who I am dying to meet and dear Lord I’m your number one fan.
Spring is finally here and I’m enjoying the weather by meditating and enjoying this time, and I’m spending many days while I’m thinking about things, that has never really crossed my mind. Though my gift and my talent is to write about things and to express what I’m feeling this day, but I want to be prepared when the rapture occur and when the Lord come and snatch me away. Everything that I’ve done has been nailed to the cross and my past is hid and buried away, but for those who I’ve hurt from the past to the present there is something that I’ll like to say. I’m sorry if I hurt or I made you feel bad that made you fall or even go astray, and I’m sorry if I failed to be sincere to you though my motive was to never betray. I’m sorry if you felt i only thought of myself not making it good but only made things worse, because I want to make sure that everything is right if it’s my last day upon the earth.
I am moved in my spirit to release some words and there is so much that I have to say, because the tree that’s suppose to give me shade and comfort is drying up and is withering away. There is nothing it can offer being on life support and now it’s time for me to pull the plug, because they say that the blood is more thicker than water but to me the waters thicker than blood. On the outside it is healthy and the branches are strong though the tree seem to sparkle a little, but there is venom that has reached every fruit of the tree because the root of the tree is bitter. There is fussing and there’s fighting, hurtful words and back biting and there is no one who can work things out, and everybody’s divided and against one another that the sword will never leave the house. It’s like a thorn in my flesh that is piercing my soul and fiery darts that are prepared for me, but God is grooming and he’s trimming so my branch will stand out, to make it shine through the family tree.
Since I’m growing in my faith and I am pulling away people say that I don’t act the same, and since I’m walking by myself and keeping everyone distant, people say that I have made a change. I am still the same person with a very big heart and I’m free from the weight I was carrying, but I do not have the time to sit and talk about others or worry about what other people are wearing. I do not have the time to be in everyone business when I’m having problems of my own, and I do not have the time to sit and listen to lies and all the gossip on the telephone. I am not going to tell you when your man is out cheating when I do not have a man of my own, and I’m not going to tell you that your friend is competing for the very same man in your home. I want to live my life in peace, so just let me do me and really hope that you would do the same, because I’m letting go of everything that hinders my growth and that would hinder me from making a change.
For the vision is set for an appointed time and I will sit quietly as I wait, because I know that the Lord would watch over his word and I know that he won’t be late. The things that the Lord has revealed to me is being fulfilled because he could not lie, but there is someone who I know that’s still apart of me and just the thought of him makes me sigh. You’re like a magnet that is pulling and I’m spiritually fighting because I want to leave it all behind, but you’re still in my spirit and you reign in my heart and now I’m clearly seeing all of the signs. Timing is the key that will bring about healing but it is taking such a very long time, because I know that loving you it can never be wrong, but it feels like I’m commiting a crime. But I plan to keep my distance though you taught me a lesson of all the things that I should not do, to be so quick to fall in love and I’m always reminded everyday when I am thinking of you.